Wives, Be Subject to Your Own Husbands
It is popular to say that a husband's love will lead to the wife's respect and vice versa. It makes sense. At least he won't be putting up roadblocks to her submission. It is common among believers to say they are being biblical but they are basically following a manmade recipe of reciprocity...they see their marriage as a bargain, a contract, a reciprocal relationship...you scratch my back and I will scratch yours. If you uphold your part of the bargain I'll do mine, but heaven help you if you slip up. That is self-centered living that exposes idols in our hearts.
Husbands and wives should expect but not demand their spouses to do what God says. But an arrangement based upon the ongoing good behavior of each party is bound to be broken and shattered. A works-based marriage seldom works like it should. As things get out of balance one may grab the upper hand and wrestle control and be the initiator, the caller of shots, or one may hold things against the other and blackmail,them into doing right. All such motivations are misleading and wrong, built on a faulty foundation that is bound to crumble. Because it is built on man's faulty logic rather than God's wisdom.
The proper response of a wife to a husband, and husband to a wife, is to say, no matter what I will do what God says. Because I submit to God first. He is my Master. I am bound to Him. I answer to Him. And what He says in His Word is sweet to my soul. I love my Lord and Savior Jesus and want to do everything to please Him. A Chrisitan wife is called to submit to God by submitting to her husband, a Christian husband is called to submit to God by sacrificially serving his wife.
All praise to the Lord Jesus Christ. He saves by sovereign grace alone, through the gift of faith alone, in Christ alone, as revealed in Scripture alone, for God's glory alone. Jesus loves you!